Let’s have a real conversation about sabotage—the kind that shows up in the middle of your glow-up.

You hit a milestone, finally raise your rates, get the dream client, or feel a rare moment of peace… and then, out of nowhere, your mind goes “This is too good to be true.”

You start nitpicking.
You procrastinate on the follow-up.
You scroll when you should be scripting your pitch.
You pick a fight. Miss a deadline. Get sick.

I’ve been there more times than I’d like to admit. And it wasn’t because I lacked discipline, talent, or ambition. It was because I was hitting my Upper Limit Problem.

Dr. Gay Hendricks named it. I lived it.

The Upper Limit Problem is that invisible, internal thermostat that decides how much success, love, joy, and visibility you’re “allowed” to have before your subconscious starts pulling you back to the familiar.

And trust me, it’s sneaky. Here’s how it usually shows up:

1. Feeling Fundamentally Flawed

This one hits deep. It’s the belief that at your core, you’re not good enough. That if people really saw you, the jig would be up. So instead of basking in success, you brace for exposure. You undercharge, overwork, or deflect compliments with a nervous laugh. Because deep down you think you’re the exception to the abundance you desire.

2. Disloyalty and Abandonment

You ever feel guilty for outgrowing your circle? Like you’re betraying your past or your people by building something bigger? This is the lie that says, “If I succeed, I’m leaving them behind.” And so, you unconsciously stay small to stay loyal. But here’s the truth: you can honor where you come from and evolve.

3. More Success = Bigger Burden

This is the trap that whispers, “If I get bigger, life gets harder.” You believe success comes with more responsibility, more visibility, more pressure. So you hold back. Delay the launch. Say no to the spotlight. Because you think peace and progress can’t coexist. (Spoiler alert: they can.)

4. The Crime of Outshining

You don’t want to be “too much.” You dim your light so others don’t feel insecure. You downplay your genius so you don’t rock the boat. Especially for women especially for Black women—we’ve been conditioned to think our excellence is a threat. But your brilliance isn’t a crime. It’s a calling.

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I had to unlearn all of this. I had to expand my capacity to feel good without guilt. To earn more without apology. To shine without shrinking.

If you’ve been wondering why things fall apart just when they start to come together check your thermostat. Are you letting yourself feel success? Or are you subconsciously sabotaging it?

The Upper Limit Problem isn’t a flaw it’s a flag. A signal that you’re entering a new level. And you don’t have to fear it. You just have to rewire it.

This next season? You don’t have to hustle harder. You just have to stop capping your capacity for joy, wealth, and visibility.

Raise the roof. Reclaim your genius. And break that upper limit like it owes you rent.

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